The Possibilities

From "Da Dawghouse" - Taylor chimes in today with possibilities.

AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH! Okay so I don't really yell like that, it would sound ridiculous... imagine it... strange.

Somedays I travel to my little Myspace world where I can watch my friends who are all miles away. Most days I feel so happy to see them and hear from them, but there are days when I envy them. Like right now, at this moment I reek of the awful smell of baby vomit (queasy people... I apologize), my daughter won't go to sleep, and I've accomplished basically nothing all day, much like most days. The only adult conversations I have are about our kids, oh yeah and my only good gossip in like a year, my friends husband had an affair. Yeah Yeah I know...motherhood the most important job in the world, and I agree, but that doesn't make it any easier, less frustrating or less smelly.

I sometimes dream of the flitty and flighty worlds some of my friends have, laughing it up at a bar, flirting with guys at a club, jumping in the car and flying by the seat of their pants to God knows where, and not returning until God knows when. The endless possibilities that their freedom allows them. Do they know how lucky they are?

Sometimes it just feels good to imagine being young and irresponsible (okay I'm still young) but to be irresponsible, holy crap that sounds like fun. Spending a night drinking until I pass out, driving with a stranger to Mexico for kicks, loitering where loitering isn't allowed, maybe... possibly smoking a ciggerette just to watch the swirls of smoke circle the air above me.

Hell let's continue with the possiblities...maxing out my credit card on totally unneccesary things, pimping out my SUV with rims, and a sound system that would severely damage my hearing for life. I don't know, maybe join a band and play for free in coffee shops. Or become a prison tattoo artist, spitting up ink on convicts who would pay me in cigs and shanks, of course this would mean I myself would have to become a con, so I think I would rob a bank maybe a couple banks.

Or I could be a grungy hippie carrying only the essentials and a bottle of water. Barefoot and smelly picking up work when money became absolutely neccesary. Selling beaded jewelry on a street corner in Paia with the warm island breeze streaming thru my nasty salty hair.

Or a costume designer pinning reds and blues on shades of gold and silver. Working backstage on Broadway franticly searching for the hoop earrings that would go with the red dress in act 3, scene 2. Cutting, sewing, hemming and creating beautiful period pieces for the next Hollywood epic.

Ahhh the possibilities of a life without responsibilities, honestly it doesn't sound all that great. Especially smoking... that's a nasty stink habit and I encourage all you smokers to quit. I dunno, I'm done, I kinda just felt like writing something, and this was how I felt at the moment. I need to take a shower.


K-Dizzle



Saturday, May 27, 2006 at 3:09 PM

Ahhh, I feel ya. I remember the fun I had when we working at the radio station. The late night drinking. The loud music. The psychotic groupies!!! What fun. Then I remember how broke I was. I remember the stress that being broke caused and the infighting that the stressed caused and then I realized; that life doesn't sound as appealing anymore.

Lil's going through the terrible two's at the moment so I totally understand the anxiety you are going through. Nothing like working 10 hours a day and having to come home and be the referee in fight between my son and my wife. Then I think, at least I'm not broke and I'm no longer living in an apartment above Tony and his "lesbian in denial" wife!!!! Oh and, I think being a dad is the best freaking job in the world.

Radio DJ would be second.....guess I'll have to wait until I'm financially secure to try that again!



The Time Machine



Monday, May 29, 2006 at 12:51 PM

Late night drinking, loud music, psychotic groupies and infighting? How did I miss out on all of this? It has all the makings of a "Behind The Music" on VH-1. Darn it...now I need to take a shower.